I can help you in all aspects of your divorce – child support, alimony, child custody, dividing property, and marital debt.

Steps to a Divorce

STEP 1 – FINDING AN ATTORNEY
The first step is finding an attorney. The best way is to ask for recommendations from others. When you do call an attorney, ask about her or his experience in family law matters. If you are satisfied, take the time to decide whether you are now truly ready to begin a divorce procedure. If you are, then make an appointment–and keep the appointment. We say this because it is not uncommon for people contemplating divorce to make and cancel three or four appointments before finally meeting with the attorney.

STEP 2 – INITIAL CONSULTATION
The goal of your initial consultation is to sort out your issues and find out about your finances. You may have issues dealing with child custody, alimony, child support or equitable distribution. Expect to find out what is realistic. Your attorney will start to gather facts and discuss your options under the law. It is best that you bring your income tax returns for at least three years, your pay stubs, and a list of your assets and liabilities. If you don’t have these, don't worry because your attorney can get them from your spouse. You also will be given a Case Information Statement to fill out. This is a statement of your assets, liabilities, income, insurance, and other monthly expenses. It becomes the road map to the financial side of your divorce.

STEP 3 – THE ACTUAL PROCESS
(A) Filing the Complaint for Divorce – To get a divorce in New Jersey, you must have certain grounds or reasons. You cannot just say that you do not want to be married any longer. Those grounds are adultery, extreme cruelty, substance abuse, deviant sexual conduct, and desertion. You can also be divorced without one of those reasons if you and your spouse have been separated for more than 18 months or have experienced irreconcilable difference for a period of six months before filing the complaint for divorce.  Your attorney will prepare a divorce complaint and file it with the court.

(B) Once the divorce complaint is filed, it will be served upon your spouse either by a sheriff or, if there is cooperation, by mail. In New Jersey, your spouse has 35 days to answer.

(C) After the complaint is answered, the attorneys gather information through what is called discovery. This means we use interrogatories (written questions) to gather information about income, assets, and liabilities. If there are complex financial issues, it may be necessary to take a deposition (an in-person questioning) of your spouse. If there is a business involved, it may be necessary to hire an accountant or appraiser to determine the value of the business. For most people, their most valuable assets are retirement plans and homes.

(D) After discovery is completed, all the pieces of the puzzle are on the table and you and your attorney can go about negotiating a settlement.

(E) If a settlement is reached, the court will be notified and a final hearing will be scheduled. At the final hearing, you need to testify that you understand and agree to the terms of the agreement. If no agreement is reached, you will have a trial before a judge. There is no jury.

STEP 4 – WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU CANNOT SETTLE BETWEEN THE TIME WHEN THE COMPLAINT IS FILED AND THE TRIAL?
(A) Pendente Lite ("during the suit") Motions - You most likely will need to deal with the issues of support, custody, and equitable distribution. A pendente lite motion is a way of asking a court for help while awaiting the final divorce. If your spouse is not giving you any money for alimony or child support, you can ask the court for temporary assistance by way of such a motion.

1. For child support, courts look at each party's income. Using the New Jersey Child Support Guidelines, a judge will decide how much each spouse needs to pay for child support. The Guidelines are based upon the cost of raising children in an intact family using New Jersey's income distribution formula. Child support is intended to cover a child's share of expenses for housing, food, clothing, transportation, entertainment, unreimbursed health care up to and including $250 per child per year, and miscellaneous items. The cost of child care and health insurance and other predictable and recurring expenses for children, such as the cost of private schooling, will be included in the child support calculations.

2. Custody – Here are some terms: Joint Legal Custody: Both parents share in all major decision-making for their children such as health, education, and religious issues. Sole Custody: Only one parent makes decisions. Parent of Primary Residence: The parent with whom the children live. The other parent is known as the Parent of Alternate Residence. Parenting Time: This is the time the Parent of Alternate Residence spends with the children. Parenting time is also referred to as Visitation. Custody is a very difficult issue. Before your divorce is final, the court will try to maintain the status quo provided the children are not in any danger. Sometimes, this is not possible. By way of example, in one case where there was so much hatred between the parties the judge ordered the child to stay in the house and the parents to be there during alternate weeks.

3. Mediator – In every contested custody case, parents are assigned to a parenting class and to participate in mediation. The parenting class is a joint workshop with other parents. This is not to deal with your specific situation. It is a general workshop. Then, a mediator will schedule an appointment for you. It is mandatory that you attend. The first three hours are free. If you don’t reach an agreement during those three hours, you may schedule another appointment at your own cost. If all fails, psychological experts will have to be retained and the court may wish to interview each child of sufficient age. The court will make a determination based upon the experts’ recommendations and the factors set forth in New Jersey’s statutes.

4. Alimony – Before your divorce is final, the court may order one spouse to pay alimony to the other. Interim (often called “pendente lite”) alimony is the duty of support owed by one spouse to the other while a divorce action is pending. Its amount, if any, will be based upon the existing family life style, each spouse’s need, and their ability to pay. A court can award permanent alimony, rehabilitative alimony, reimbursement alimony, and limited term alimony. Permanent alimony is usually awarded where there has been a long-term marriage and the supported spouse is either not working or does not earn sufficient income. Rehabilitative alimony is awarded so that the supported spouse can update his or her job skills with an eye toward earning a living in the future. A spouse can be awarded both rehabilitative alimony and permanent alimony. Reimbursement alimony is a “pay back” for supporting a spouse while she or he was getting an education. Limited term alimony is an award for a term of years. In order to determine the amount of alimony, a court will look at New Jersey’s statutes. These include such considerations as the needs of each spouse, their respective abilities to earn an income, their respective abilities to pay alimony, the length of the marriage, and their age and health.

5. Equitable Distribution – Any asset acquired during the marriage is subject to equitable distribution. It does not matter in whose name the asset is, or who paid for it. Marriage is viewed as a joint partnership with each person contributing to the family’s wealth. Inheritances are exempt from equitable distribution unless what is received was placed in joint names or commingled with marital assets. For example, if a husband inherited a house and it was used as the marital home during a 20 year marriage, the court will likely rule that the house is subject to equitable distribution.

STEP 5 – FINAL HEARING
(A) By the time of a final hearing, your attorney will have been negotiating with your spouse’s attorney trying to reach an agreement. If successful, the court will put through your divorce without a trial. On the day of your hearing, you will appear before a judge and your attorney will ask you questions about why you have asked for a divorce. You do not have to be specific. Your own attorney will also question you about the fairness of the agreement and your understanding of it.

(B) If you did not settle, you will have a trial before a judge. There is no jury. The judge will hear both sides of the story, reviews the proofs submitted by each party's attorney, and reach a decision. The reason for divorce is not important to the outcome of the trial.

(C) If you are unhappy with the way the judge divides the property, sets alimony, decides custody issues or otherwise rules, you can appeal. Appeals are usually not successful, but the Appellate Division sends cases back to the trial judge for another hearing more times in family matters than with any other type of case.

(D) People who are able to reach a settlement usually are happier with, and abide by, their agreements more than those who have gone to trial.

(E) If your spouse does not live up to the agreement or order, you can enforce it with a post judgment motion.