Who Gets the Children?

Both parents should be actively involved with their children's well being.

There are two legal custody concepts. Of the two, courts prefer joint legal custody so that both parents share responsibility for the decisions that affect their children. On the other hand, a court will grant sole legal custody when parents cannot or will not put their differences aside for the benefit of their child or children, or when one parent is unable or unwilling to make decisions affecting his or her child or children.

In most instances, parents are given joint legal custody of their children. With this custody arrangement, each parent has a say in all major issues – usually issues concerning the health, education or welfare of a child.

Even in joint custody situations, one parent will usually be the residential parent, while the other parent will see the children on an agreed-upon parenting time schedule (visitation schedule).

There is also the concept of a shared parenting arrangement, whereby children spend equal time at each parent's home.

If parents cannot agree on a custody and timesharing arrangement, then the court will decide for them. The court’s overriding concern is to find what the court believes to be in the best interest of each child. In making its decision, a court takes into consideration each child's safety and happiness and each child’s physical, mental, and moral welfare. Usually the parent with whom the child is presently residing will get preference because courts are reluctant to change a successful or existing custody plan.

It is always wise for parents to settle their own differences rather than to let a judge make the decision. Fortunately, courts have initiated many programs to help parents resolve child custody disputes. These programs include parenting classes, custody and parenting mediation, and the use of settlement conferences.